My goal this week was to attempt to understand my mood fluctuations.
Morning mom wakes up to joyful well-rested children that are giggly, snuggly and almost angelic, We spend our mornings dancing, singing and eating delicious things.
Nighttime mom is exhausted! She has repeated herself countless times, and feels like she’s cleaned up the same mess over and over and over again. As children get more tired near the evening, they lose their ability to be polite and kind when asking for things which adds salt to a wound.
Blaming the kids wasn’t doing it for me. I sincerely believe children were not put on this planet to annoy and irritate their parents. Their parents, brought them into this world, and we adults were all “childish” once too, it’s how the developing mind works! It’s NOT the kids, it’s me, the parent.
The book of the week: 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐔𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐒𝐨𝐮𝐥 by 𝘔𝘪𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘭 𝘈. 𝘚𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘳 begins by walking readers through the relationships they have with their thoughts & emotions.
Which helps uncover the source of mood fluctuations. (My main goal!)
“The bottom line is, you’ll never be free of problems until you are free from the part within that has so many problems”The Untethered Soul – Micheal A. Singer
When a problem happens, and you feel upset about it, instead of asking “𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘐 𝘥𝘰 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴?”it’s much more productive to ask “𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘮𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘣𝘦𝘥 𝘣𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴?” And get curious about where that comes from. This way of thinking will liberate you from the majority of the problems in your life!
Now, when I am tired and worn out at the end of the day, instead of plowing through with my jaw clenched and my head down, so to speak, I ask for more support with the kids and take meditation breaks.
You not only have the ability to find yourself you also have the ability to free yourself.The Untethered Soul – Micheal A. Singer
We tend to look towards external resources when we feel lost, or not like ourselves. But nobody can validate who you are but you. Most people’s perceptions of who we are, are simply wrong. The truth is, who we are is impossible to define. Singer speaks about freeing ourselves from any labels (conservative, grumpy, happy, extroverted etc etc) labelling ourselves guarantees disappointment because those superficial characteristics describe “how” we are not “who we are… and “how” we are varies from place to place depending on people, comfort-level.
You have to realize that you really only have one choice in this life, and it’s not about your career, whom you want to marry, or whether you want to seek God. People tend to burden themselves with so many choices. But, in the end, you can throw it all away and just make when basic, underlying decisionThe Untethered Soul – Micheal A. Singer
: do you want to be happy, or do you not want to be happy?
Happiness is a choice first and foremost. The Untethered Soul does a great job at putting the steering wheel back into our hands. We aren’t in the passenger seat of our lives, we are in the driver’s seat. We get to decide! If we choose joy for example, no matter what happens to us, we will seek the silver lining and continue to rediscover joy. However it is the opposite of someone thinks joy is something that simply happens, you cannot be a passive recipient of joy and happiness, you must contribute to receive your share of the happy pie.
Sometimes you will go through deep experiences that bring up intense pain inside of you. If it is in there, it is going to come up. If you have any wisdom, you will leave it alone and not try to change your life to avoid it.”The Untethered Soul – Micheal A. Singer
The only way to let go of pain and release yourself from it’s fear and shame encrusted grip, is to go through it. This is the core of spiritual work! I’ve recently discovered my appreciation for techniques such as Breathwork, that help me access different parts of my brain, and worth through the things I’ve held onto unconsciously to rewrite my own story about myself.
Reality is just too real for us, so we temper it with our minds.The Untethered Soul – Micheal A. Singer
We are narrating the world in our own minds, and maybe we’re not aware of it. This book transformed the way that I think about the way that I think…. the endless chatter in my mind doesn’t serve me, nor does it stop if I really observe it. Instead of letting it get lost in thought like usual, The Untethered Soul give me tools to take a step back and just watch my thoughts float in like a cloud and float away like a cloud. This has reinvigorated the sense of control that I feel which is deeply liberating.
True personal growth isn’t about changing ourselves, it’s about changing the perception that we have of ourselves. I am not a “smoker” I am someone that has taken up the habit of “smoking”… Change your language, then work to change your thoughts and that is the only way to change your life. Thank you Micheal A. Singer for this wonderful book.