An Awakened family can spark a revolution in their world simply through the day-to-day experiences of life.
This book fell into my lap by surprise, and I am eternally grateful that it did because of how much I needed to read it. For those, like myself, who have always wanted to help raise a family, The Awakened Family, sounds like the ideal situation because it fosters growth for everyone, especially the parents. Every parent should read this book. Here are 5 Quick Lessons from The Awakened Family by Shefali Tsabary Ph.D.
1 – Myth: Good Parents are naturals
So you’re a parent and you find out the hard way that it’s much more challenging than you’ve anticipated. Rest assured, “being a natural” is a total myth! Good parents are the kind of parents that actively seek out ways to improve their parenting techniques to promote their parenting techniques because they want their children to thrive. In The Awakened Family, Dr. Shefali Tsabary goes through a series of myths revolved around parenting including but not limited to : Myth: There are good Children and bad children, Myth: Parenting is about the children. The onus is on us. Blaming the innocent children is unfair and wrong. We are the wise adults with the most power and control over the dynamics of the situation.
2 – Meet your Ego
I see the ego as more like a picture of ourselves we carry around in our head — a picture we hold of ourselves that may be far from who we are in our essential being… “Ego” as I’m using the term is an artificial sense of ourselves. It’s an idea about ourselves based mostly on other people’s opinions.Dr. Shefali Tsabury – The awakened Family
The key to Conscious parenting is to familiarize yourself with you ego, the loud incessant voice in our heads and its false ways. The Awakened Family does a great job providing you with effective tools to identify the voice, and it’s antics and to overcome it’s mischievous ways. It’s not easy, especially if it’s the first time you’ve heard about this voice. Another subject area that bring up the Ego in a way that resembles Dr. Tsabury’s is Meditation.
3 – Fear-based parenting is an epidemic.
You want your children to be successful in life. But why is this so important to you? If you look closely enough, you’ll see that it’s because you see the world as a rather frightening, dog-eat-dog place and you’re concerned for your children’s future.Dr. Shefali Tsabury – The awakened Family
Becoming parents is like going on a path towards enlightenment. The trials seem daunting and endless, however you learn a ton about yourself through this journey. Our views of the world and how we feel about the world are two different things. If you feel like the world is nothing but a dreadful place full of sick perverted people that can’t be trusted, your parenting style will be different than someone who feels differently. How we see the world is palpable, and often, we impose those views on our children without knowing it.
4 – Why does that bother you so much?
I am aware that my struggles are reflections of inner conflicts.Affirmation to Raise Oneself – Dr. Shefali Tsabury – The awakened Family
Imagine suddenly emerging on a planet where you don’t understand the language, and everything is new to you but you have these loving mentors that feed, clothe and take care of you without you asking. Now how would you feel if sometimes when you were tired, or made a mistake you were screamed at or punished, how would you feel? How would that affect your future lessons? Your trust in your mentors? Usually the reason something bothers us about something our children does is because its deeply rooted fear or trauma from our own childhoods. Physical and mental abuse is cyclical. If your go-to response is an aggressive one, maybe you should consider leaning into that, and figuring out where it comes from. Kids aren’t the issue, its us.
5 – Respond don’t react
To me presence connotes the ability to be fully aware of one’s present. It requires that we suspend thought, ideas, opinions, and beliefs. We simply are. In this “being” state, we are unaware of who, where, or what we are and instead are fully engaged with the process of being alive.Dr. Shefali Tsabury – The awakened Family
The ego is the reason behind our blind reactivity. Responding is much different than reacting, and should be the goal instead of rash reactions for everything. Remember, the reason you’re even angry in the first place, is because of the falsehoods of your “ego” or the idea of what you think should be happening which is too often based on someone else’s opinion. Getting angry about an accident when potty training often makes it worse. Responding is a much more effective and much less detrimental way to teach a lesson. Being present will help get you there. Everything can be accomplished a moment at a time, even your calmness.
Buy this book! It’s a game changer with the power to turn our home and family dynamic into a peaceful and awakened one founded on love, respect and most importantly evolving together.