Siblings Without Rivalry: How to Help Your Children Live Together so You Can Live Too
I used to deliberately avoid books that had two authors, but I’m glad I didn’t skip this one. Adele Faber & Elaine Mazlish, scholars, researchers, writers and mothers, speak with one eloquent and insightful voice in their book: Siblings Without Rivalry. These authors are the bestselling authors of: How to talk so your kids will listen, and listen so your kids will talk. After years of conducting research to decipher parental concerns, this book is the result of common questions, and practical solutions to those very same questions. The authors spend very little time speaking about themselves in the book, which I appreciate, but you can read more about them here.
Parents with multiple children, or those planning to have some. Bonus: If you have siblings of your own that you don’t get along with (as well)
Take two kids in competition for their parents love and attention. Add to that the envy that one childs feels for the accomplishments of the other, the resentment that each child feels for the privileges of the other, the personal frustrations that they don’t dare let out on anyone but their brother or sister… and it’s not hard to understand within families across the land, the sibling relationship contains enough emotional dynamite to set off rounds of daily explosions.Adele Faber & Elaine Mazlish – Siblings Without Rivalry
What’s it about?
Siblings Without Rivalry is about the complex and dynamic relationships between siblings in the household, and how parents can help or hinder it based on what they do. Most people with several children have had siblings growing up, however because of timing (how old the parents are, how far apart the kids are) and gender differences (I grew up with all girls but now have all boys), most of us have no idea what we’re doing, and may be innocently worsening the relationships! This book is about validating that this is difficult, and providing parents with practical tools they can use to plant the seeds of tolerance, acceptance and maybe even friendship between their often competitive children.
- Your kids aren’t a “hopeless case”
- There are things you can do to greatly improve sibling relationships
- There are things you’re probably doing to worsen sibling relationships
Siblings Without Rivalry is packed with humour, practical tools and concerns of real parents across the nation. The authors wrote this as if they were delivering one of their famous workshops and we were in the class. We hear the interactions between the parents, the comments, and we wait after hearing the questions and concerns of the parents. It’s a hands-on guide, so take notes.
Security lies within having all of mommy and all of daddy, and all of the toys, all of the food and all of the space.Adele Faber & Elaine Mazlish – Siblings Without Rivalry
One thing that always concerns me with books like Siblings Without Rivalry, that showcase multiple ‘scenarios’ between parents and children is how “realistic” they may be. There’s a simpleness that I doubt in some of the scenarios described. As someone with children too young to interact, we shall see if these scenarios prove to be useful.
Cop it or Drop it?
Cop it! It is most definitely worth the read and you won’t be disappointed. Everyone can gain something from this groundbreaking practical guide. Bonus: Buy this book for friends that are pregnant with their second (plus) child.
Look out for the 5 Quick Lessons from this book on Friday!