Daring you can't do both

Darling you can’t do both : 5 Quick Lessons

Turns out, I wasn’t alone. In a recent study of more than three thousand women, half of them said they didn’t have enough free time, and almost two-thirds said they felt guilty spending what little time they did have on themselves.

Darling you can’t do both, page 17

Darling you can’t do both read as smoothly as the voice in my own head. The creative authors, that are an award-winning advertising team, Janet Kestin and Nancy Vonk expressed themselves with warmth, humor and frankness about what it took to thrive in a competitive career and have a healthy, happy and relaxing home life. This practical guide is especially relevant for moms, which I appreciate greatly. Here are 5 quick lessons I learned from Darling You Can’t Do Both : And Other Noise to Ignore on Your Way Up.

Yes, business is a game, but we believe women can redefine the rules… to play on our own terms.”

Darling you can’t do both, page 254
  1. You can have a life and be successful in a competitive career

“If you have a life, then you’re not working hard enough” is a myth that the authors of the book debunk very quickly. Making your career work for you and your family’s specific needs can be done. In Darling You Can’t do Both the authors share their wild career successes, and also how they managed to have their work accommodate them so they can increase their work/life balance. One of the examples was a more flexible start-time that allowed them to enjoy their mornings with their kids. This small and seemingly insignificant change made a big difference and alleviated a lot of stress for both them and their family. Rules like crazy and constant work hours aren’t something we should feel bound by. So many women decide not to pursue promotions at work based on the work hours alone. This doesn’t have to be the case.

You don’t have to follow old rules, you can bend them, break them, ignore them.

Darling you can’t do both, page 10

2. Gender bias isn’t in your head, sexism is alive.

Whether it’s a joke or a comment that doesn’t sit right with you, or the way that your idea got dismissed without allowing you the opportunity to elaborate, your gut feeling isn’t lying. We know that gender biases exist, and the authors, even when working with billion dollar companies still experienced sexism in the workplace. Darling You Can’t Do Both tackles this issue in a motivating way that empowers women to speak up for themselves and blatantly call people out on their bullshit. It’s brilliant.

The best way to network is to do it authentically, organically, to show up without an ‘agenda’, to meet new people for the genuine pleasure of the human connection

Darling you can’t do both, page 234

3. Networking: You’re doing it wrong

Outside of the life-balance focus of the book, is the business savoir faire these incredible women have. Their networking skills were contributing factors in their success pitching large marketing projects to billion dollar companies. But there’s a way to do this that’s not fake, awkward and all around cringeworthy. Darling You Can’t Do Both authors share their biggest and most effective networking secrets in the book which lies on the foundation of authenticity.

4. Subtitle: And other noise to ignore on the way up

This subtitle speaks to the motivational nature of the book. Darling You Can’t Do Both does a great job empowering women to embody confidence while giving them permission to ignore the bullshit, because there will be loads and loads of that. Ignoring some of the unspoken rules that seem to exist only for women is necessary to thrive in any workplace.

5. There’s a better job out there for you.

Though the authors of the book don’t go right out and say “quit” the jobs they describe accept their employees to make requests for a more flexible work schedule. These jobs value quality instead of quantity when it comes to employee presence in the office. Not every job is like this, and that’s okay… because they are living and breathing proof that there are better jobs out there that make it easy so you don’t have to choose between having a happy and healthy home life as well as a challenging, well-paying career.

In summary, be rebellious, speak up for yourself, don’t take no for an answer and make your work, work for you! Darling you Can’t Do Both is an overall inspiring career book for females, specifically future and present mothers.


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