Dare to lead – 5 Quick Lessons

Dare to lead by Brene brown is definitely a book that I will recommend for a long time. Every single page is packed with eloquently written quotes worthy of going viral. It took me a while to read it only because I didn’t want to do it without the ability to take notes and write a lot of them down! Here are 5 quick lessons from the insightful book of the week : Dare to Lead by Brene Brown.

“If you are not in the area getting your ass kicked on occasion, I am not interested in, or open to your feedback. There are one million cheap seats in the world today, filled with people who will never be brave with their own lives, but who will spend every ounce of energy they have hurling advice and judgment at those of us who are trying to dare greatly. Their only contributions are criticism cynicism and fear mongering. If you’re criticizing from a place where you’re not also putting yourself on the line, i’m not interested in what you have to say. We have to avoid the cheap seats feedback and stay armor free.”

Brene Brown – Dare to Lead

1. Seek feedback from the right people

The first thing I learned in this book, turned into a mandate for the way I live. Brene Brown spoke about writing the list of the people who’s feedback is important to you should happen on a paper that is 1 inch by 1 inch. Just enough space for 2-4 names, that’s it! Everything else, and everyone else is more often than not, white noise. Don’t become a slave to the masses, because they cannot be satisfied, you’ll lose your mind first. Ignoring everyone else isn’t wise either, especially for those in leadership roles.

“Don’t grab hurtful comments and pull them close to you they re-reading them and ruminating on them. Don’t play with them by rehearsing you’re a bad ass come backs, and whatever you do don’t pull hatefulness close to your heart. “

Brene Brown – Dare To Lead

2. Don’t pull hatefulness into your heart

“Let let the things that are unpredice and hurtful drop at the feet of your unarmored self. And No matter how much your self-doubt wants to scoop up the criticism and snuggle with the negativity so it can confirm your worst fears”

Take a deep breath and find the strength to leave what is mean-spirited on the ground. You don’t even need to stomp it or kick it away either, just let it go and move on with your beautiful life!

“Cruelty is cheap, it’s easy and it’s chickenshit. It doesn’t deserve our energy and engagement. Just step over the comments and keep daring. Always remember that putting up an armor is too heavy a price to pay to engage with cheapseat feedback”

Brene Brown – Dare to Lead

3. Vulnerability is not weakness

Is the emotional experience during the time of uncertainty with an emotional exposure.” Can you give me an example of courage that you have witnessed in a fellow soldier didn’t require vulnerablilty?

When Brene Brown asked this question time and time again in military groups across the US, not one single person was able to give an example of courage without vulnerability. This is definitely not new information if you follow her work! Pushing through the discomfort is what strength is all about.

4. Feedback is good!

“If we shield ourselves from all feedback we stop growing”

“ When we get to the place where armor is so thick that we don’t feel anything we experience a real death. … weird feeling of our hearts from everyone and everything not just hurt, from love.”

Brene Brown – Dare to Lead

5. We need each other

“Needing no one pushes against everything you know about human neurobiology we are hardwired for connection. From our mirror neurons to language we are a social species. In the absence of authentic connection we suffer. And by authentic I mean the kind of connection that doesn’t require hustling for acceptance and changing who we are to fit in.”

Science shows us that our genetic make up supports inter-dependency and in Dare to Lead, Brene goes into details about studies that prove that we are built to be social. we are stronger together in every way. What I appreciate most about this book is that it promotes quite simple principles in an intelligent, and insightful way. It shows us time and time again that if we go back to the basics of allowing people to be accepted as they are, they will not let us down.

“The greatest barrier to true belonging is fitting in, or changing who we are so we can be accepted. When we create a culture of fitting in, and seeking approval at work, we’re not only stifling individuality, we’re inhibiting people’s sense of true belonging. People desperately want to be a part of something and they want to experience profound connections with others but they don’t want to sacrifice their authenticity, freedom, or power to do it.”

Brene Brown – Dare to Lead

Daring leaders make sure that people can be themselves and feel a sense of belonging.

The book, though very inspiring, is filled with practical knowledge that seperate daring leaders to what she refers to as “armored leaders”. Our culture seems to promote armored leaders who are overly focused on perfectionism, not progress, and who still use fear tactics and encourage the kind of competition that make it impossible to foster a sense of belonging in the workplace.

Read the book! Don’t rely on these lessons, because they don’t even scratch the surface here!

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